There are laws that every Xbox 360 owner must abide by…unspoken laws if you will. UNSCRIPTED XBOX is proud to present those laws.
The Xbox Laws* (formerly known as Xbox 360 Laws)
Upholders of the Xbox Laws make up the Council of Enforcers and they sit around what is known as the Xbox Table to discuss and approve these laws. I am proud to be amongst the Council of Enforcers and to take my spot sitting in a chair around the Xbox Table. If you are someone who uses computers and consoles on a regular basis then you will be familiar with rules, laws and regulations.
DEACON – Founder of the original 7 Xbox 360 Laws; identified below with (F). Through his vision the 360 Table was formed to seat all those who are bearers of the great responsibility of enforcing the 360 Laws. Mr. Deacon has gone on record against many 360 Law offenders and has taken them all to justice thus solidifying his rightful spot at the Table.
He was also the first to strike down the ‘Ken Exception’ to the Barbie Horse Adventure 360 Law. With great power comes great responsibility. With every Xbox 360 and Xbox One comes an Xbox Law.
*modified for Xbox One
The Council of Enforcers
The Council of Enforcers are plenty. They sit beside the Founder at the Xbox Table. Enforcers carry the Xbox Laws with them at all times to cite violations on a whim. Who are the Enforcers? As the Enforcers check in, they’re added to the roster.
360 Laws Picture Pack #1
360 Laws Picture Pack #2
The Xbox Laws
1. 360 Law (F): Barbie Horse Adventures should only be played on an original Xbox. ONLY test its backward compatibility on an Xbox 360 if you are in possession of a child 7 years old or younger. The ‘Ken Exception’, a movement that if Ken Horse Adventures were released it could be played, was struck down.
2. 360 Law (F): Under no circumstances will you put stickers on your console. Unless those stickers are actually a skin that covers the entire console.
3. 360 Law (F): Carrying an Xbox 360 backpack is not cool.
4. 360 Law (F): Never share your hard drive with a friend’s console for more than a day. Tell him to get his own hard drive or download his own games.
5. 360 Law (F): Gaming sessions should never last more than 24 hours if someone of the opposite gender is involved.
6. 360 Law (F): Never be close enough to touch knees while gaming with a friend unless that friend is of the opposite gender.
7. 360 Law (F): If you plug it, you own it. Wired controllers and Play & Charge cables are only to be inserted into the USB by the owner of the console. Never let anyone touch your wires.
8. 360 Law: No hands but those of the owner shall handle the 360 in any manner.
9. 360 Law: Never abuse the Guide button mid-game. Abuse includes pressing of the Guide button by a guest without instruction from the host, repeated presses of the Guide button whether accidental or not and other forms of excessive Guide button usage.
10. 360 Law: Your console is not a coaster. Beverages and snacks must be a minimum of 3 feet away at all times. A dirty console is a no-no. Keep it clean.
11. 360 Law: You are not the Velvet Voice and this is not an open tryout for American Idol. Under no circumstances should you sing into the headset while playing. Mute yourself for the sake of your fellow gamer playing with or against you.
12. 360 Law: Have a Gamertag that everyone can pronounce. It is mandatory to upholding the Laws and key to being recognized by the Council and your fellow gamer. Trying to pronounce ‘xryiopyehzzeaiy’ sucks. The Council frowns on unspeakable names. You shall provide proper pronunciation of confusing Gamertag whenever prompted or be in violation of said 360 Law.
13. 360 Law: If any person has excessively sweaty hands, they must identify themselves immediately and be issued a hand cover (gloves) or towel to dry hands. If said person does not have a hand cover or towel, they must supply their own 360 controller. Also known as the “Sweaty Hands Law”.
14. 360 Law: The Vision Camera is not a dating tool.
15. 360 Law: Halo 2 is not next-gen. Halo 3 is. Sending Halo 2 invites after Halo 3 releases or to known next-gen only players is beyond a violation.
16. 360 Law: When the headset is on, NO communication outside of to those involved in the match is possible. Pass this on to anyone presiding in said household.
17. 360 Law: The GamerchiX Rule. If you disrespect the ladies of gaming; chiX, PMS Clan…you’ll lose major cool points and respect. Obey the T.G.R.!
18. 360 Law: You move it. You lose it. Keep your 360 still! No horizontal to vertical adjustment especially when there’s a game inside. Play it don’t sway it!
19. 360 Law: Hulk no like wasting money on batteries. Hulk like uninterrupted play. Hulk have Play & Charge or Quick Charge kit. Hulk smash silly Xbox 360 owner with batteries.
20. 360 Law: Official celebrations when unlocking Achievements or other milestones achieved during gameplay include high fives, fist pumps in the air or shouting ‘Yeah!’. At no time do you celebrate with a hug and that includes the mythical ‘man hug’.
21. 360 Law: Forcing the action is a rookie move and you’re not Salt ‘N Pepa. Respect your disc tray. Don’t push it. A legitimate 360 owner uses the eject button, the dashboard or the remote to operate the disc tray.
22. 360 Law: Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s Xbox 360 or make regular use of it. Get your own!
23. 360 Law: Being full of hot air is only bad during certain times. Breathing into your headset for all to hear is one of them. No psycho breathing unless gaming is directly after strenous cardio workouts.
24. 360 Law: If 3 red LED lights appear to be flashing on the “Ring of Light” of your Xbox 360, the console is not putting on a light show. You must call Xbox Customer Support!
25. 360 Law: Video chatting is fun. Video chatting while performing any rendition of Risky Business is not fun. Leave your clothes on when the Vision Camera is on.
26. 360 Law: It’s okay to rumble. We all like to rumble. But thou shall not abuse the Xbox 360 controller’s rumble feature for any reason. It’s just not cool sending a rumble while in video chat. Not even as a friendly reminder or nudge.
27. 360 Law: We know what you play. Your Gamercard says so. No faking the drive on an unplayed game across Xbox Live pretending to have what you don’t. No play it, no say it. Also known as the “Gamercard Law”.
28. 360 Law: Xbox 360 Play & Talk 101. Your Xbox 360 can talk to you. Play it regularly so it doesn’t think you’re mistreating it.
29. 360 Law: Never play on a friend’s profile unless invited. Gamerscore points are important, so adding unearned points is NOT allowed. Get your own achievements and points on your own profile and vice versa!
30. 360 Law: When you see your friend’s status as “Watching DVD/Movie”, do not send them a message asking them what movie they are watching. It’s like being in the theater and someone talks during the good part. Don’t be that someone to your friend and their Xbox 360 movie.
31. 360 Law: Hell hath no fury like an Xbox 360 gamer being spammed via Xbox Live. Yes messages are cool but don’t spam your friend’s list without proper spam approval from your friends. The 360 ain’t ham…so don’t spam!
32. 360 Law: Black controllers and white controllers can be played with on the same console. Don’t be afraid to mix and match with your Premium or Elite. It’s like Michael Jackson said, it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.
33. 360 Law: The Hungry Man Law. No one wants to hear what you’re eating over Xbox Live. Mute it before you chew it!
34. 360 Law: No means No! Take time to refresh yourself in Stalker 101 of the 360 Law manual. It clearly states that repeatedly sending friend invites and game invites to the same person after being declined are a no-no.
35. 360 Law: Feed your Xbox 360 nice food. No scratched or greasy discs go into the disc tray!
36. 360 Law: The Gamertag Change Law. I know you. You know me. Thou shalt send a message to all on your friends list stating your previous Gamertag as well as your new one if you decide to change your handle. Don’t confuse anyone with a new tag.
37. 360 Law: Thou shall not say pwn, pwned, owned, own, noob, froob, nub, nubby nub, u stupid little kid or nerd while getting slaughtered over Xbox Live.
38. 360 Law: The host shall not, under any circumstance, leave a lobby unattended for any longer than it takes to perform a “number one”. If the host needs to leave for longer than a “number one” then he/she needs to inform the room and/or start the game.
39. 360 Law: Thou shall not relate Gamerscore to a gamer’s skill.
40. 360 Law: Thou shall not judge a game by its online play. There is much more to a game than XBOX LIVE.
41. 360 Law: If you want to invite someone to play with you, make sure they have the game before you send out the invite.
42. 360 Law: Never, ever put another company’s console on top of your Xbox 360. Respect the pecking order and keep the 360 on top.
43. 360 Law: There shall not be any horse play around a vertical Xbox 360. You tip it, they don’t fix it.
44. 360 Law: Kidz Rulez. Only those who were never little kids that played video games can ever say anything against little kids that play video games. (little kids include anyone that hasn’t reached puberty or under the age of 15, whichever comes first)
45. 360 Law: Trash talking has its boundaries no matter how fun. Thou shall not talk trash over the mic if you cannot handle trash being thrown back.
46. 360 Law: Just play the game! Don’t ruin another Xbox 360 owner’s dream if you get your hands on a copy of a highly anticipated game before it is released to the public. Keep the spoilin’ to the old milk in your fridge at least until its release date.
47. 360 Law: The Rock Rule. Dancing is approved during play of any Guitar Hero title or Rock Band title. You shall rock properly and perform in front of your 360.
48. 360 Law: Tomato, ToMotto! Keep a clean motto on your gamer card.
49. 360 Law: Thou shall not swing your arms like a crazy man and throw your controller at your TV when you get pwned. Be nice to your accessories and TV.
50. 360 Law: No Cheetos or any form of fingerprinting potato chip shall be eaten before you handle a 360 controller. Orange fingerprints on controllers are teh suck! Wipe ‘em before you snipe ‘em.
51. 360 Law: Painting your Xbox 360 black does not make it Elite.
52. 360 Law: The Sore Loser Law. No one wants to play with a sore loser. Thou shall not blame host, lag, or any outside distractions for losing.
53. 360 Law: Rock Band is for the band. Only a collection of drummers, a singer, bass and guitar can properly melt faces. I command thee to play Rock Band only with a group!
54. 360 Law: The Golden 360 Law. Owning a 360 puts you in the circle of trust. Don’t abuse that! Treat other players with the same respect that you want for yourself. Leave the name calling and disrespect in the trash where it belongs and just game on!
55. 360 Law: Let’s play some COD and then after that hit up KUF and maybe even some DMC or PGR later. OMG WTF. Say the name, don’t be lame on Xbox Live. Let’s play some Call of Duty, Kingdom Under Fire, Devil May Cry or Project Gotham Racing.
56. 360 Law: What happens online stays online. Your non-gaming friends will not know or care about how much you owned on Call of Duty 4 last night.
57. 360 Law: Thou shalt not handle a 360 game disc in any other way than “palming” the disc or using the “finger hole” in the middle. The silver area is for the 360, not your fingers.
58. 360 Law: Read no evil; Hear even less. Let it be law from this day that any harassment via text or voice will result in losing all gaming privileges. Play nice and speak even nicer.
59. 360 Law: Friend of Friend Law. Thou shall not send random game invites to the friends of your own friends without permission from your friend or without a message sent prior stating whose friend you both know.
60. 360 Law: Thou shall not kill a 360 even if it is for a YouTube video. Xbox’s have feelings and want to live long just like me and you. Protect & respect.
61. 360 Law: Hide & Seek Law. Thou shalt appear offline if the need arises to sign in and out repeatedly so that your friends don’t have to see “_____ is online” every thirty seconds while they’re trying to concentrate on their game.
62. 360 Law: Master Chief and 360 owners are like peas and carrots. I layeth upon thee thine Halo 3 Law. When in doubt, pull a sticky out.
63. 360 Law: Thou shalt not change thy Gamertag in excess of 5 times as it confuses friends and it’s hard to have a nickname.
64. 360 Law: Thou shall refrain from sending one letter/word response messages on Xbox LIVE such as “K” and “Lol.” It just takes too much time to open the message and delete it just for that.
65. 360 Law: Thou shall not post or message random people about how awesome your new Microsoft points generator (phishing) web site is.
66. 360 Law: If you want to trash talk just to be funny, always be sure the other player knows you’re kidding.
67. 360 Law: Don’t send bad feedback just because you got PWNED.
68. 360 Law: If your Gamertag includes any form of “Great” “The Best” “King” or any other bold statement, make sure you can back it up then prove it or change it.
69. 360 Law: Don’t be an ass to noobs. We were all one at one time so just help them out.
70. 360 Law: Your Xbox 360 is more mature than your original Xbox. Do not share accessories between the two unless absolutely needed.
71. 360 Law: Thou shall not send M2AF. Send messages to the folks intended. Not everyone cares if you’re going to be gone for 3 days.
72. 360 Law: Uninvited party hopping isn’t cool. Just because it’s open, doesn’t mean it’s open to you so stay out of parties you’re not invited to.
73. 360 Law: When you connect with Kinect, make sure you leave your clothes on.
74. One Law: (TBA)
These are the Xbox Laws. There is an approval process for each law as well as each Council member. Every submitted law must be examined and verified before making it as an official Xbox Law. Every potential Enforcer undergoes the most extreme scrutiny so that the Xbox Laws are upheld with dignity.
I shall abide by all Xbox Laws both foreign and domestic. I realize that this duty is thrust upon me the minute I claim ownership of an Xbox 360 and I shall willfully learn all current Xbox 360 Laws upon such claim. I further proclaim that I will strike down all offenders of said 360 Laws so that harmony continues to rule over chaos.
“This is my Xbox. There are many like it but this one is mine. My Xbox is my best console. I must master use of my Xbox as I must master the Xbox Laws. Before all Xbox owners, I swear this creed.”
Established: July 28, 2006 9:00 AM CST
Modified: January 14, 2014 4:00 PM CST (to reflect Xbox One)