Armed with the same lung and other information that I so easily used to verify the account with Xbox Support, I engaged the WLID team.  It was truly mind bottling when they returned with “we can’t verify your information”.  What the fried egg?  I humored the situation and asked well can you tell me what information you can’t verify but of course that question was ignored.  If you’re telling me some of my information can’t be verified, then tell me which so I can update it!  Don’t tell me what you have, just tell me “hey the address you gave doesn’t match” .. at least tell me something!  Instead, it’s the banana in the tailpipe.

My only assumption as to why there is so much confusion is that Microsoft has so effortlessly screwed up its own department with fragmentation and the two systems are alien to each other.  How is it possible that one division of Microsoft can verify what another division can not?  I had to verify myself with Xbox Support before I could even be passed on to the WLID team.  So where is the breakdown in information?  Who created this clusterfuck of a system?

I began to wonder if I should simply get someone to phish my account because it seemed like an easier route.  I know others in the same boat who have waited for SIX MONTHS to have their issue with WLID resolved.  How does it take six months to make sure that someone is indeed the someone who owns the account?  (and they are still waiting)  In that time frame Microsoft could’ve flown the person out to Seattle and had them fingerprinted for verification.  I wonder how anyone ever got their account stolen when it’s this much of a pain in the ass for the actual owner to get his or her own account corrected.  How does the wrong person ever manage to do it?

I’ve had quite a few people email me and post in various social media platforms that they too have been in a ridiculous battle involving their WLID and Xbox.

Why can’t they just cut and paste a new email address into the account?  Or in my case, why can’t they simply send me the damn password reset link?  In light of my own situation, I voiced my displeasure via Twitter.  No surprise that I was given the same support articles that I had already tried 1,337 times with each time resulting in a dead end.  Not only that but I was given a link to a site that “is a peer supported technical support site and has no real influence with Windows Live or XBox.”  Now how is that for a slap in the face and passing the buck … telling me the best place to get help is actually not from the WLID team but instead from someone who has no influence with WLID and to hope that they’ve been stuck in the same boat and found their way out.  Recap … Microsoft’s official help personnel suggested that I just ask “people out there” to fix my problem.

It’s as if my email address has somehow become the key to civilization itself the moment it transformed into a Windows Live ID.  The response to an issue that they can’t fix is so typical that it’s funny now. You can script just about every response now from Xbox Support or the WLID team.  Is it automated?  Who knows but one has to wonder if any human being could look at all the details surrounding my particular case and not say to themselves …. oh okay, this person obviously owns the account.  How is a human being not able to verify this?  And they refuse to simply call and speak with you.  You’re forced to communicate in a private WLID forum to get your situation handled because having you read a canned response is how important it is to them that it gets resolved.  (sigh)

And once this private forum person concludes their review, there is ZERO communication after that.  So if they “conclude” that you’re full of shit, that’s all there is to it.  They make one attempt to help you and if they can’t, they move on to the next forum post and leave you twiddling your fingers.

If I sound extremely frustrated, that’s because I am.  Some of you might say well it’s your fault that you signed up with a company that got rid of your email address.  Really Little Jimmy, really?  Some of you might say that it’s the person’s fault for losing their passwords.  Really Little Jimmy, really?  I’m not denying the fault in human nature.  I’m pointing out the failure in providing a resolution to that same human nature that every company typically accounts for.  Who doesn’t have a painless procedure in place to deal with people who lose account information?  You already use (of which I’ve already provided) secret questions, SSNs and birthdays.  These things are put in place for situations specific to losing information.  I’m sure the phishing experts could get that information but guess what … the actual owners have that information too dammit and they shouldn’t have to out phish the phishers to verify themselves!

What I suggest to everyone out there is that you never under any circumstance forget your password or use an email address with a 3rd party company.  I know what I’m asking is a bit much considering that it’s impossible not to forget sometimes but trust me it’ll save you from some pointless frustration.  I can’t believe that they even recommend that you simply get a new WLID and start over especially when your gaming history was such a big focus for Xbox Live.  Microsoft didn’t invite you into Xbox Live so that you could have hundreds of different gaming identities.  They focused on you having just one yet so easily recommend that you get rid of it and start over.

There are a few people that are genuinely trying to help not only my situation but the entire process.  And to those people I say thanks.  I know your hands are tied and you can only do so much but doing even a little says enough.  I wish that those people had the tools in place to easily resolve these issues but they don’t.  They don’t because Microsoft decided to put the ultimate decision in the hands of people who only have to respond in a private forum that they tried to help you and couldn’t.  Yes, your gaming history and sanity is all right before your eyes in a private forum post that consists of 140 characters or less in some cases.

I’m pissed about it and so are the others who have had to deal with it.  I understand that most of you won’t be because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know just yet.  But when it does happen to you and you’re on the other end of the WLID team, then you’ll feel what me and many others have felt.  I’m on Day 13 or so in this nightmare while others are months into it so I should be thankful I suppose.  Taking days and months to take care of a single issue is just sad for the number of people Microsoft employs.

I want you all to share this story because the process needs to change.  There needs to be someone at the end of the roller coaster that you can talk to … someone that calls and verifies your information … someone that can ultimately cut and paste a damn update to your account.  It should not be this hard for any account owner to update his or her WLID no matter how cool Microsoft thinks it is to Optimus Prime your email address.  It isn’t cool especially considering Optimus was able to change back.

How do you like those “apples”?

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