Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even my wireless mouse.
The stockings were hung by the wall mounted plasma with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of family game night danced in their heads.
And the wife in her ’snuggie, and I in my gearbox cap,
had just collected 250 brains it was time for a nap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Down to the living room I flew like the flash,
Booted my 360 and prepared to whoop some ass.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the lustre of Left 4 Dead 2 to objects below,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a jolly fat man with the game of the year.

With a title update, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment the gaming would be sik.
With a vengence, through the maps we reigned,
as he pwned the noobs and called them by name:
“Now BPD! Now Irish!
Now, DangerDoll and Camera Vixen!
On, Ryhme! On, DJSteel!
On, Nanakai and Deacon!
To the top of the leaderboards!
I will carry you all!
Now sprint and jump! Sprint and Jump!
Sprint and Jump all!”

As the game went on the nades did fly,
when they met with an obstacle, they blew it into the sky
so up to the top their gamerscores flew,
with the night full of chievos, and MS points too.

And then, in a low voice, He said “I’m da truth”
my legend grows stronger with the pwning of each little goof.
As I thought in my head and was turning around,
St. Nicholas was done and arouse with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
His bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
and all kinds of 360 accessories all in black.

His eyes–how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His gaming was tight, don‘t cross him be wary!
His hair was pimped out in a fro,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a red face and whatever he smoked was kinda smelly,
he shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
With wink of his eye and a twist of his head
he said “ when it comes to noobs, just keep throwin lead“.

“that was popsicles yo“ he shouted with joy, then went straight to his work,
he dished out some presents, then turned with a jerk.
After flashing a peace sign in front of his nose,
he gave me a fist bump, and up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a guided missile.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”