Developer: Io-Interactive
Publisher: Eidos
Rating Guide: How I Review Games

Review:

They forced my hand.  I have to live with no remorse now.  I am a mercenary.  I am killer.  I must do what is necessary for her protection.  I have to save my daughter.  I am forced to hunt down The7 with all that I have in me.  Nothing will stop me.  No one will be able to hide.  I will not rest until the job is done or I die.  Nothing else matters except her.  With these hands and these guns, I will fight and kill. 

Who am I?  I am Kane.  This is my f***ing review on what it’s like being me. 

Graphics, Gameplay and Sound

Kane & Lynch: Dead Men is an in-your-face game that is true to what the rating implies.  It’s a mature title make no mistake about it.  My life as a mercenary isn’t for the weak let me assure you.  Bottom line is I don’t expect any priests to buy my story for their 9-year old kids.  Being part of an organization like The7 and having to hunt them down makes for an interesting tale best suited for someone who can handle it.  

You have your typical 3rd person shooter control scheme to get familiar with controlling me.  The R trigger is to shoot, click the R stick in to check your inventory of weapons.  You can use this to change weapons (or D-Pad for quick changing).  RB throws grenades, LB is to crouch or sneak.  You can also give a limited amount of commands to Lynch or any other felon on your team.  The X button orders your team to regroup around you.  The B button is a ‘move in’ command and the Y button is a ‘fire at my mark’ command.

I thought controlling my character was decent enough to get the job done.  At times I’d do a stupid freeze or fail to make cover properly but it was a minor thing I can handle.  My teammates or as they call it, the AI, was just ridiculous.  I don’t know how many damn times I’d be shooting Lynch in the back because he wouldn’t get out of the way.  There was also the crazy fact that most of my team would fail to look for their own cover when being shot.  They sat right in the middle of a road getting sprayed.  Go figure.  Who the hell does this?  I know Lynch is a psychopath but he’s gotta be smarter than that.

I was happy with the weapon selection although the grenades and rocket launcher were weak.  Tossing a grenade didn’t impress me at all so I mostly stuck to my guns.  Those up close head shots feel better anyway.  If I ever ran out of ammo, all I had to do was get with a teammate and they’d hook me up.

When you die, Lynch or someone on my team would give me a shot of adrenaline to get back on my feet.  I did some things I’m not proud of but overdosing on morphine ain’t one of them.  This happens if I died too quickly and got fed another dose of adrenaline too fast.  My heart can’t take that much juice.  You’ll have to restart the scene or chapter after an overdose of too much adrenaline.  I guess it’s just a game so they gotta throw in some Hollywood flare.  How else can a person f***ing die and come back?

I was pretty much all over the place waging my wars in the city as well as in Havana decked out in full combat gear.  I had car chasing scenes, club scenes and wall-scaling scenes that let me do my thing in a variety of ways.  The night club was amongst my favorites as I navigated through the crowded club taking people out.  I didn’t care about the civilian casualties because that comes with the job.  And nothing was more important than killing the people responsible for taking my daughter.

The people looked like hell though which was disappointing.  Even I wasn’t as crisp as I would like to have been.  If you see my mug in person, you’d know I’m much more handsome.  Still, it didn’t take from the action which is what I’d expect from any game starring myself.  I’m all action with little time to play hero.  I come from a world of kill or be killed and playing myself was the same adrenaline rush I’m used to.

For what I’m capable of, they did a good job representing it but it wasn’t perfect.  I guess it’s a bonus I could do it solo or co-op.  Perhaps in any sequel they might let me kill a few more f***ing people.

Xbox Live Extras

Cops and robbers or in this case Fragile Alliance.  I didn’t star in this caper but I did play through it.  Why no Kane?  Who the hell knows.  Basically I was a part of a team full of other so-called mercs and together we had to grab some loot and stack our money.  The guy with the biggest pile of loot at the end got away with the win.  As with all heists or jobs you gotta watch out for the double cross.  The more I stole, the more likely it was that someone on my team would turn traitor on me and secure even more loot or rewards.

I always knew who did it though because the next round they would have a black shirt on or have their names in gold.  And believe me I gave them the proper payback every time even though being killed I would turn into a member of the fuzz, SWAT or some other law enforcement.  It was fun seeing the money drop from the pieces of **** as I shot them.

It was sweet times pulling off these online heists except for the dull environments and the small team I had.  I could only have 8 other mercs and we only had 4 places to get the job done.  Maybe next time they’ll give me more. 

This is the end of what it’s like to play a bad ass character like myself.  I’ll see you around in the sequel hopefully.

-Adam “Kane” Marcus  

Conclusion

Kane & Lynch: Dead Men had a great story mixed with some real high strung moments that made it one of the more unique experiences out there.  I felt the chaos and revenge that I’m sure was intended when making such a grimey kind of game.  When you consider the two central characters and how much effort was put into defining them, you’ll understand the choices to make this game as in-your-face as they did.

I really felt the tension in some scenes and when I made it to the end, I felt the relief of getting away.  You can’t play this game expecting it to be anything other than what its story suggests.  You are Kane.  You’re a mercenary with little time to mess around and plenty of time to kill for your daughter’s life.  The online could’ve been something special though but it ended up falling short.  If you’re in the market for some gritty action behind the eyes of a mercenary this is your game.

I hope you all enjoyed my little spin of having Kane himself do the review.